Are you afraid to be afraid?

We hear a lot of negative things about fear from our people around us.

Things like 'Don't be afraid!', 'Fear not!', 'Don't be afraid to do this!' etc. You know you have heard something similar.

Now, although fear can be a hindrance when it doesn't let you be happy or take decisions that you need to, it isn't actually a bad thing, if you think about it.

A Brief History of Fear

If we go back a couple of thousand years ago to the humble beginnings of humankind, humans lived in the wild and were often presented with life and death situations when they hunted, scavenged for food or simply coexisted with stronger and faster animals.

Fear acted like a precautionary spider sense for us. It helped us survive by cautioning us against possible threats, which in turn forced us to evolve. Fear made us use our brains to access memory, plan strategies, develop tools, housing, transportation and more.

So, technically, fear has had an important part to play in not only the survival of human race but also in its development.

How Fear Works?

Starting right from motivating us to do something to avoid some unwanted situations, to making us imagine problems when we plan to do something, to giving us goosebumps when we execute something, fear reminds us to prepare a plan B, a safety net, at all times.

According to the primitive wiring of our brains, fear puts us in a situation where we either fight or flight. And sometimes, we find ourselves right down the middle when we find ourselves paralyzed by fear, unable to do anything. We freeze.

It's preserved human kind for centuries.

We even notice physiological changes when fear sets in. Goosebumps, heating up of ears, sweaty palms, adrenaline rush are some examples.

In fact, adrenaline rush is something that makes me marvel most about this phenomenally sophisticated system!

In an extreme situation, fear can help us run faster than we have ever run, jump walls we don't think we can, punch someone really hard and access reserves of energy we never thought we had.

So, instead of looking at fear as a negative thing, it's something to be impressed by.

Now I know we don't face such situations every day and the humankind has evolved sufficiently to make most of the features of this sophisticated system redundant at most times.

In fact, since we don't utilize the benefits of fear so much, we often think of it as a burden than a useful tool.

I believe that even in day to day situations, we can still utilize some of the features of the fear system to our advantage, if we understand it well.

How to use Fear to your advantage?

The idea is to accept that fear is a tool and not a burden. The idea is to see it as a sixth sense, Spidey sense (Spider-Man lingo) or an interesting power.

All of us are afraid of different things for a variety of reasons. We don't have to discover all in a day but let's start with a few.

Write down 3 things you are afraid of and why you think you are.

Example:

I am afraid of:

1. Talking to strangers in events, parties, gatherings etc.
2. Public speaking.
3. Loosing my job.

Respective reasons I think I am afraid:

1. I think I may come off as boring or foolish. I lack knowledge or think I am uninteresting.
2. I think people will laugh at me or won't find me up to their level of expectations.
3. I don't think I add value or I think my boss doesn't like me much or I don't think I know my job really well.

Now, let's decode these reasons.

Pro Tip: Empathize with yourself, don’t be harsh and be proud of yourself for doing this exercise. Ask questions to yourself or people concerned until you get more clarity.

Let’s do it:

1. Confidence is definitely key here but please understand that the biggest component of confidence is feedback! The more you do stuff, correct mistakes and do better, more confidence you'll build up. So go fuck it up a few times if required. Get feedback, correct yourself, try again and keep doing so. You'll soon conquer it. Top performers often fail fast and fail enough. No amount of planning can ever remove diminish the significance of feedback.
2. Public Speaking: Again, go fuck it up. That's what stand up comics do during open mics. They are regular people like you and me.
3. Fear of loosing your job: Have patience. Work hard. Talk to your boss openly and plainly. A good boss's job is to help his team perform. That's his job! Go help him and help yourself. Always remember, two key qualities you need for work are ownership and curiosity. Rest can be learned.

Don't just read it, try it if you need it and don't procrastinate! It won't take a lot of time. Hope this exercise helps.

Now that you are privy to how fear works how you can make it work for you, go discover this amazing tool and next time you're afraid of something, smile knowing that your newly understood tool is working fine, and follow the steps above.

After some time, you'll be so comfortable using fear that you'll use it on the go without sitting down to write things down. Although I personally think writing things down really helps.

Fear can be used as a great tool to navigate through your life and help you take better decisions. Don't let anybody tell you to just not be afraid.

Did you like what you just read? Tell me about it and share with the people you care about. :)